Fantastic Beasts Network (english version)
by Loufok
Summary: The foursome's adventures online. :) [Newtina] & [Jeenie] obviously! Slightly [Grindeldore]. Including Credence Barebone, Percival Graves, Seraphina Picquery, Theseus Scamander and lots of others characters from JK Rowling's universe. [work in progress]
1. Chapter 1

_A translation of Fantastic Beasts Network._

 _I had to get this out of my head. Hope it'll make you smile. :)_  
 _I own nothing, it's all JK Rowling's.  
Thanks a lot to my beta reader SleepingReader._

* * *

 **Jacob Kowalski** and **Queenie Goldstein** are now friends.  
 _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ _and_ _ **Tina Goldstein**_ _like this._

 **Jacob Kowalski:** Hello dove. :$  
 _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ _likes this._

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Hello honey ! *heart*  
 _ **Jacob Kowalski**_ _likes this._

 **Tina Goldstein:** Queenie… Don't be reckless…

 **Queenie Goldstein:** As far as I know, digital friendships between wizards and No-Maj are not prohibited, are they?

 **Seraphina Picquery:** That is a measure that could be explored…  
 _ **Percival Graves**_ _likes this._

 **Queenie Goldstein:** F*ck Big Brother…  
 _ **Jacob Kowalski**_ _likes this._

* * *

 **Jacob Kowalski** and **Tina Goldstein** are now friends.  
 _ **Queenie Golstein**_ _likes this._

* * *

 **Jacob Kowalski** and **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander** are now friends.  
 _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ _and_ _ **Tina Goldstein**_ _like this._

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Newt! You finally created a Facebook account?! :D

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander :** Yehs I difgd .

 **Jacob Kowalski:** Uh-oh, someone has trouble using the keybord? ^^  
 _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ _likes this._

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** I pormies I wlli i/§provse.  
 _ **Jacob Kowalski,**_ _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ _and_ _ **Tina Goldstein**_ _like this._

 **Queenie Goldstein:** You didn't have to use your full name you know?

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** I w^` anted ot b_e suer yùou coutfld ffingd mea.

 **Jacob Kowalski:** Buddy, you really need to improve, it's illegible.  
 _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ _,_ _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _and_ _ **Tina Goldstein**_ _like this._

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Ok.

 **Tina Goldstein:** Here you are, no typo. :)  
 _ **Jacob Kowalski**_ _and_ _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ _like this._

* * *

 **Queenie Goldstein** and **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander** are now friends.  
 _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ **,** _ **Jacob Kowalski**_ _and_ _ **Tina Goldstein**_ _like this._

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Newt! :o :o :o Your travel photograps are amazing!  
 _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _likes this._

 **Jacob Kowalski:** She's right. Those with the dragons are particularly terrific.  
 _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ _and_ _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _like this._

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Sorry, I am currently spamming you with notes but they are all wonderful…  
 _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _likes this._

 **Queenie Goldstein:** New "like-button" addicted, am I right? ;)

 **Jacob Kowalski:** It's probably easier for him to like a post than writing one. ^^  
 _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _likes this._

* * *

 **Queenie Goldstein** likes _"No-Maj Community".  
 **Jacob Kowalski**_ _and_ _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _like this._

 **Tina Goldstein:** Queenie…

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Am I still in a free country or what?  
 _ **Jacob Kowalski**_ _and_ _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _like this._

* * *

 **Queenie Goldstein** likes _"Ilvermorny, best school of witchcraft and wizardry in the world".  
 **Tina**_ _ **Goldstein**_ _likes this._

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** I cast' beleiveit !

 **Queenie** **Goldstein:** I don't understand what you're writing Newt and yet I am the Legilimens here. :)

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** …

* * *

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander** is reading _"Computer science for dummies", "Socials networks for dummies" and "A Begginner's Guide to_ _Muggle technology".  
 **Jacob Kowalski, Tina Goldstein, Queenie Goldstein, Theseus Scamander, Credence Barebone,**_ _ ** **Seraphina Picquery** , Percival Graves**_ _, 958 579 365 Potterheads and JK Rowling like this._

 **Jacob Kowalski:** What a success. ^^

 **Albus Dumbledore:** People want to understand what you have to say Scamander. ;)  
 _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _likes this._

* * *

 **Queenie Goldstein** created a closed group **Meetings in New York *heart*  
**

 **Queenie Goldstein** , **Jacob Kowalski** , **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander** and **Tina Goldstein** have been added to the group _._

 **Jacob Kowalski:** Stunning idea. :3  
 _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ _and_ _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _like this_.

 **Credence Barebone:** What about me? :(

 **Tina Goldstein** added **Credence Barebone** to the group.  
 _ **Credence Barebone**_ _and_ _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander** like this._

* * *

 **Jacob Kowalski** likes _"Pastries"_.  
 _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ _likes this._

 **Queenie Goldstein:** My favorite pastries are yours honey ? *heart*

 **Jacob Kowalski:** :$

 **Tina Goldstein:** Too many potential interpretations… Awkward…  
 _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _likes this_.

* * *

 **Gellert Grindelwald** is listening to **LMFAO** _"I'm sexy and I know it"_.  
 _ **Albus Dumbledore**_ _and_ _ **Gilderoy Lockhart**_ _like this._

 **Percival Graves:** This is a No-Maj's song, you know that right?

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** I would never spit on something I can relate to.

* * *

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander** likes _"Bowtruckles"_.  
 _ **Pickett the Bowtruckle**_ _likes this._

* * *

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander** likes _"Dragons"_.

* * *

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander** likes _"Thunderbirds"_.  
 _ **Frank**_ _likes this._

* * *

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander** likes _"Occamies"_.

* * *

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander** likes _"Demiguises"_.  
 _ **Dougal**_ _likes this._

* * *

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander** likes _"Nifflers"_.

* * *

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander** likes _"Unicorns"_.

* * *

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander** likes _"Puffskeins"_.

* * *

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander** likes _"Phœnix"_.

 **Theseus Scamander:** Like another beast and I'll unfriend you!

* * *

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander** likes _"Hippogriffs"_.

 **Theseus Scamander:** …

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Bye?

 **Theseus Scamander:** You'd be too pleased.

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** :(

 **Theseus Scamander:** :)

* * *

Private messages.

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Hey sis!  
 **Tina Goldstein:** Queenie?  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** Something wrong between Newt and you?  
 **Tina Goldstein:** Not that I am aware of. Why?  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** You're not Facebook friends…  
 **Tina Goldstein:** Queenie, socials networks aren't real life.  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** Teenie…  
 **Tina Goldstein:** I can like him in real life without being his friend on Facebook.  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** Teenie…  
 **Tina Goldstein:** Besides, I can talk to him via the group you created. :)  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** Teenie!  
 **Tina Goldstein:** What?  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** You deleted his request?  
 **Tina Goldstein:** No!  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** He did?! :o  
 **Tina Goldstein:** …  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** Oh… Teenie, I'm so sorry! :(  
 **Tina Goldstein:** …  
 **Tina Goldstein:** It's ok.  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** I can't believe it. He really seemed interested in you, though.  
✔ Seen 9:32pm  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** You wanna talk about it?  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** Do you want me to come home? Jacob won't bother if I leave his place sooner, he'll understand.  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** Do you want to chat over a hot cocoa drink?  
✔ Seen 9:40pm  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** Teenie ?  
✔ Seen 9:58pm  
 **Tina Goldstein:** 'm back.  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** Teenie! What happened?  
 **Tina Goldstein:** No need to panic anymore.  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** ?  
 **Tina Goldstein:** He poked me, for that I may know he sent me a private message in which he asked me if he could accept my friend request…  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** …  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** Teenie.  
 **Tina Goldstein:** What?  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** This guy, you keep him. Okay?

* * *

 **Tina Goldstein** and **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander** are now friends.  
 _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ **,** _ **Jacob Kowalski**_ _and_ _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _like this._

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Finally! ;)  
 _ **Jacob Kowalski**_ _and_ _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _like this._

* * *

 **Credence Barebone** updated his status _"No one understands me. :("  
_ _ **Gellert Grindelwald**_ _likes this._

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** But me. :)

 **Credence Barebone:** Where's the "dislike" button?  
 _ **Queenie Goldstein, Tina**_ _ **Goldstein, Jacob Kowalski**_ _and_ _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _like this._

* * *

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander** likes _"Erumpent"_.  
 _ **Jacob Kowalski**_ _likes this._

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** I'm glad you don't hold it against her.

 **Jacob Kowalski:** I particularly enjoyed the mating dance to be honest…  
 _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ _and_ _ **Tina Goldstein**_ _like this._

 **Queenie Goldstein:** I hope you'll show us one day Newt! :D

 **Tina Goldstein:** It sounded really funny. :)

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Tina?! You know?

 **Tina Goldstein:** Jacob couldn't hold his tongue. :)

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** This is truly embarrassing…

* * *

 **Gellert Grindelwald** wrote on **Credence Barebone** 's wall **:** Add me? :)

 **Credence Barebone:** Would rather die…

* * *

 **Gellert Grindelwald** wrote on **Percival Graves** wall **:** Add me? :)

 **Percival Graves:** Hm… Nope.

* * *

 **Gellert Grindelwald** is listening to **Akon** _"Lonely"_.

* * *

 _Here we are… As Newt said, "This is truly embarrassing…" XD_  
 _Please, leave comments, I really love them. :3 (and you'll win a hug from the Niffler and a kiss from Newt! :D)_


	2. Chapter 2

_A big, huge THANK YOU for the kind reviews! They warmed my heart and kept me writing. ^^_

* * *

 **Gellert Grindelwald** likes _"Be world master and have an evil laugh".  
_ _ **Sauron, Loki, Darth Sidious, Hades, Scar, Joker, Rasputin, Ursula, Biff Tannen, Maleficent, Jafar**_ _and 85 villains like this._

 **Albus Dumbledore:** Gelly, enough.

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Stop calling me that.

 **Albus Dumbledore:** Why?

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** I hate it.

 **Albus Dumbledore :** You just break my heart. Again. :(

* * *

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander** likes _"Pamela Anderson"_.

 **Jacob Kowalski:** …

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** What?

 **Jacob Kowalski:** Buddy, what are you playing at?

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** I play nothing. Why?

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Who is she?

 **Jacob Kowalski:** An actress.

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** A Muggle woman.

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Ooooh, Newt! :D You're interested in this culture too! I think it's fascinating isn't? :D  
 _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _likes this._

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Quite. This woman did extraordinary things.

 **Queenie Goldstein:** I'm gonna Google her.

 **Jacob Kowalski:** Man, you are so dead.

* * *

Private messages.

 **Queenie Goldstein:** …  
 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** What?  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** Newt, men have desires and wants, I understand that and I won't judge you but… honestly, putting this on Facebook? This is not really necessary! Do you think Teenie would want to know this kind of thing?  
 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** What are you talking about?  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** Pamela Anderson!  
 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** What about her? What's the matter? This woman is an activist for the animal rights movement. She stands for vegetarianism, wants to banish leather and fur and boycotts KFC. This is an exemplary path and I dare hope that one day, the magical community will be able to follow it as well and be inspired by this type of people. We have so much to learn from the Muggles sometimes. Regarding the animal cause, we are no further ahead than them, maybe even less.  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** …  
 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** What now?  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** You embody honesty and purity, no one can tell me otherwise.  
 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Why's that?  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** Google "Baywatch".  
 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Ok.  
✔ Seen 4:32pm  
 **Queenie Goldstein :** So?  
✔ Seen 4:40pm  
 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** …  
 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Oh…  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** Understood?  
 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander :** I had really no idea, believe me!  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** I know.  
 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Did Tina see… ?  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** I don't think so, she's still at work.  
 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** I'll remove it right away.  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** Wise decision.  
 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** I'm truly sorry.  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** As I said, you're so innocent, I can't hold it against you. :)

* * *

 **Queenie Goldstein** posted in **Meetings in New York *heart*  
**

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Funny little quiz everyone: _"Which Ilvermorny house do you belong to?"_

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** …

 **Credence Barebone:** Horned Serpent.  
 _ **Queenie Goldstein, Jacob Kowalski**_ _and_ _ **Gellert Grindelwald**_ _like this._

 **Credence Barebone:** Leave me alone **Grindelwald**!

 **Tina Goldstein:** Where does he come from?!

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Hello! :D

 **Percival Graves:** Wait 'til I catch you, you bastard.

 **Seraphina Picquery:** Percival, language!

 **Percival Graves:** Sorry Madam President.

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Hey! This is a closed group!

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** You can't stop me! :p

 **Percival Graves:** MACUSA is everywhere.

 **Queenie Goldstein:** …

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Right, when do you guys want to meet and chat over a drink? :)

 **Tina Goldstein** removed **Gellert Grindelwald** from **Meetings in New York *heart*** **  
** _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander,** _ ** _ ** _ **Credence Barebone,**_**_ Jacob Kowalski, **__**_**Queenie Goldstein,**_ Percival Graves **___and_ **Seraphina Picquery**_ _like this.__

* * *

 **Jacob Kowalski** posted in **Meetings in New York** ***heart*  
**

 **Jacob Kowalski:** If anybody's interested, my result is Wampus.

 **Queenie Goldstein:** You're a warrior, honey. I knew it. :3  
 _ **Jacob Kowalski**_ _likes this._

* * *

Private messages.

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** I'll be back Tina!  
✔ Seen 10:07am

* * *

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander** shared a link on **Jacob Kowalski** 's wall: _"Which Hogwarts house do you belong to?"  
 **Jacob Kowalski**_ _likes this._

 **Queenie Goldstein:** You're supposed to be in love with my sister Newt, not with your former school…

 **Tina Goldstein:** Queenie!

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** I'm not in love with my school!

 **Queenie Goldstein:** You're jealous then?

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** I'm not jealous, just curious.

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Curious and jealous then.

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Absolutely not.

 **Queenie Goldstein:** You liar.

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** I'm not.

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Yes you are.

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** No.

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Yes!

 **Tina Goldstein:** Queenie, leave Newt alone.

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** I'm deeply sorry Tina.

 **Tina Goldstein:** I don't blame you Newt.

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** I've been childish.

 **Tina Goldstein:** No, Queenie was, come on. :)

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Thank you. :)

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Get a room you two!  
 _ **Jacob Kowalski**_ _likes this._

 **Tina Goldstein:** …

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** …

 **Jacob Kowalski:** Result: Hufflepuff.  
 _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _and_ _ **Helga Hufflepuff**_ _like this._

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** I KNEW IT! :D :D :D

 **The Sorting Hat:** Sorry to interrupt.  
This is probably a bit abrupt.  
But Scamander dear,  
Sorting the students is a very delicate art,  
So let me play my part.  
Yes I'm just a hat,  
But don't forget that I am smart.  
Hear me out, I'm never wrong,  
Gryffindor is where Jacob belongs.  
 _ **Albus Dumbledore**_ _and_ _ **Godric Gryffindor**_ _like this._

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** …

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** I hate you.

* * *

Private messages.

 **Credence Barebone:** Which house would you choose for me?  
 **The Sorting Hat:** Ravenclaw of course!  
 **Credence Barebone:** Thank you! :')

* * *

 **Jacob Kowalski** posted in **Meetings in New York** ***heart*  
**

 **Jacob Kowalski:** Another nice quiz. :) _"Which pastry are you?"_.  
 _ **Queenie Goldstein, Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _and_ _ **Credence Barebone**_ _like this._

 **Jacob Kowalski:** I'm a creme puff.  
 _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ _likes this._

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Ooooh ! *heart* Of course you are honey.  
 _ **Jacob Kowalski**_ _likes this._

 **Jacob Kowalski:** Thanks dove. *heart*  
 _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ _likes this._

 **Queenie Goldstein:** I'm a "Merveilleux". :D  
 _ **Jacob Kowalski**_ _likes this._

 **Jacob Kowalski :** Sure thing. *heart* *heart* *heart*  
 _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ _likes this._

 **Queenie Goldstein:** **Credence** , **Newt** , **Tina** , come on, take the quiz!

 **Credence Barebone:** Black Forest cake _.  
 **Queenie Goldstein, Jacob Kowalski**_ _and_ _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _like this._

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** The result is "Cinnamon roll". _  
 **Tina Goldstein, Jacob Kowalski, Queenie Goldstein**_ _,_ _ **Credence Barebone,**_ _570 385 Potterheads, Tumblr and 84 876 fangirls like this._

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Haha, I could have figured that one out myself. :D

 **Jacob Kowalski:** Go **Tina** , you're the only one left.

 **Tina Goldstein:** Mille-feuille…  
 _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander, Credence Barebone, Queenie Goldstein, Jacob Kowalski**_ _and_ _ **Percival Graves**_ _like this._

 **Jacob Kowalski:** It suits you.  
 _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ _likes this._

 **Percival Graves :** Agreed.

 **Tina Goldstein:** How's that?

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Tina, I have the beginning of an answer if I may. The "mille-feuille" hides his tender cream heart under three layers of light and crusty pastry. The top pastry layer is dusted with confectioner's sugar, which makes it looks icy and cold, but don't be fooled, not all is what it seems, because it's a melting and delightful filling.  
 _ **Credence Barebone, Queenie Goldstein**_ _and_ _ **Jacob Kowalski**_ _like this._

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Ooooh Newt! I have tears in my eyes now.  
 _ **Jacob Kowalski**_ _likes this._

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Sorry Queenie, I didn't mean to upset you.

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Don't be silly, it's lovely. *heart*

 **Jacob Kowalski:** If this is not a declaration of love, I really don't know what it is…

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Jacob, you're exaggerating…

 **Jacob Kowalski:** **Tina** , did you see that?!

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Don't bother honey, she can't read you, much less give you an answer.

 **Jacob Kowalski:** ?

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Everything's alright?!

 **Queenie Goldstein:** The emotions made her spill coffee on her keyboard. She's currently trying to wipe her laptop but the machine will need more time to be operational again.

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** …

* * *

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander** is reading _"Computer shopping guide Christmas 2016: how to choose the right one"  
 **Queenie Goldstein**_ _and_ _ **Jacob Kowalski**_ _like this._

* * *

 _Here we are! I hope it still makes you smile (laugh maybe?)._ _Please, leave comments, I really love them. :3_


	3. Chapter 3

_WARNING I changed a little something in the former chapter: it's no longer Queenie but Tina who kicks Grindelwald's butt out of the closed group. ^^_  
 _Next, you'll find lots of anachronism in this work but as it's an AU and a crack fic, the sky is the limit. :)_  
 _Lastly, be aware that there is fluff (just a bit) at the end of the chapter. Couldn't help myself._

* * *

 **Tina Goldstein** updated her status _"Terrific new laptop! Thanks Newt. :)"_  
 _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _likes this._

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Tina, I saw you, you erased the little heart and replaced it with a smiley!  
 _ **Jacob Kowalski**_ _likes this._

 **Tina Goldstein:** …

 **Theseus Scamander:** And Newt just choked in his tea. :)  
 _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ _and_ _ **Jacob Kowalski**_ _like this._

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** …

 **Jacob Kowalski:** Don't worry, one day, they'll be able to say things to each other. Some people need time to reveal how they feel. :)  
 _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ _and_ _ **Theseus Scamander**_ _like this._

 **Tina Goldstein:** …

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** …

* * *

 **Queenie Goldstein** added **Theseus Scamander** to the group **Meetings in New York *heart***.  
 _ **Jacob Kowalski**_ _likes this._

 **Theseus Scamander:** Thank you Queenie! :D

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** :(

 **Theseus Scamander:** Hello little brother! :D

* * *

 **Credence Barebone** is listening to **Los Bravos** _"Black is black"_.

 **Tina Goldstein:** Come have a coffee in the afternoon. :)  
 _ **Credence Barebone**_ _likes this._

* * *

 **Percival Graves** and **Gellert Grindelwald** are now friends.  
 _ **Albus Dumbledore**_ _likes this._

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Yippee!

 **Albus Dumbledore:** Good, you socialize. I'm proud of you. :)  
 _ **Gellert Grindelwald**_ _likes this._

 **Seraphina Picquery:** Mr. Graves, some explanation would be useful I think.

 **Percival Graves:** My Facebook account has been hacked Madam President.

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Come on, we all know you wanted us to be friends. ^^

 **Seraphina Picquery:** …

 **Percival Graves:** I'll launch an investigation right away Madam.

* * *

 **Credence Barebone** updated his profile picture.  
 _ **Tina Goldstein, Newton Artemis Fido Scamander, Queenie Goldstein**_ _and_ _ **Jacob Kowalski**_ _like this._

 **Jacob Kowalski:** Very nice picture.

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Credence, do you realize how radiant you are? You should smile more often! :D  
 _ **Tina Goldstein**_ _,_ _ **Credence Barebone**_ _and 79 868 fangirls_ _like this._

 **Credence Barebone:** Thanks Queenie. :$ And Tina is blooming in this picture I think. :)  
 _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _and the author of this fanfiction like this._

 **Tina Goldstein:** Oh Credence, you flatter me. :)

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** And you go have a coffee on a terrace with Miss Important Auror while I, I can go to hell?

 **Credence Barebone:** Basically, yes.  
 _ **Tina Goldstein, Newton Artemis Fido Scamander, Queenie Goldstein**_ _and_ _ **Jacob Kowalski**_ _like this._

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** I sulk now.

 **Credence Barebone:** Good idea.

 **Gellert Grindelwald :** You're so cruel.

 **Credence Barebone:** I know! :D

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** :'(

 **Tina Goldstein:** Don't you dare approach Credence or you'll regret it, I promise.  
 _ **Credence Barebone**_ _and_ _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _like this._

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** You don't scare me little girl.

 **Albus Dumbledore:** Leave them alone Gigi !  
 _ **Tina Goldstein**_ _and_ _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _like this._

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Gigi… I'd rather prefer Gelly. T.T

 **Albus Dumbledore:** :) Ok Gelly!

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** SHUT UP!

 **Albus Dumbledore:** :(

 **Minerva McGonagall:** Cad.  
 _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _likes this._

* * *

Private messages

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** You haven't seen the last of me Tina!  
✔ Seen 8:58am

* * *

 _**Gellert Grindelwald** _ _sent a poke to_ _**Tina Goldstein** _ _._

* * *

Private messages

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** And this is to annoy you!  
✔ Seen 9:02am

* * *

 **Gellert Grindelwald** likes _"Gellert Grindelwad, greatest dark wizard of all time".  
 **Gellert Grindelwald**_ _and 8 790 403 Grindelwald fanatics_ _like this._

 **Percival Graves:** You do have an ego.

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Yes, thanks for your inquiry. :)

 **Tom Riddle:** I'm laughin'.  
 _ **Bellatrix Lestrange**_ _likes this._

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** What do you want, fetus?

 **Tom Riddle:** I'm way ahead of you. :)  
 _ **Bellatrix Lestrange**_ _likes this._

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** I sincerely doubt that.

 **Tom Riddle:** I need a few years. Then you'll see. ;)  
 _ **Bellatrix Lestrange**_ _likes this._

 **Albus Dumbledore:** I need to keep an eye on you, don't I, Tom…

 **Tom Riddle:** Shit…

 **Gellert Grindelwald :** Haha, too bad!

* * *

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander** started to play **Farmville.  
** _ **Credence Barebone**_ _likes this._

 **Credence Barebone:** Come visit my farm, I'll give you some items. ;D  
 _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _likes this._

* * *

 **Tina Goldstein** updated her cover photo.  
 _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander, Jacob Kowalski, Credence Barebone**_ _and_ _ **Salazar Slytherin**_ _like this._

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Teenie, you're betraying Ilvermorny. :(

 **Tina Goldstein:** Don't become dramatic Queenie.

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Tina, I'm both really happy and highly puzzled.

 **Tina Goldstein:** Why?

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Well, I'm pleased you took the quiz but… Slytherin?

 **Tina Goldstein:** The quiz and the Sorting Hat gave the same name. ^^

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** …

 **Tina Goldstein:** Problem?

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** None!

 **Tina Goldstein:** Really?

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Yes, yes.

 **Theseus Scamander:** Leta was a Slytherin if I remember correctly. :)

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Theseus!

 **Tina Goldstein:** …

 **Jacob Kowalski:** Seems like someone has a type. ;)  
 _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ _and_ _ **Theseus Scamander**_ _like this._

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Jacob!

 **Tina Goldstein:** …

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Oh Honey! This exactly what I was going to say. You can read my mind too now. *heart*  
 _ **Jacob Kowalski**_ _likes this._

 **Tina Goldstein:** Queenie!

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** …

* * *

Private messages  
 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Ok, I'm sorry I overreacted.  
✔ Seen 3:42pm  
 **Gellert Grindelwald:** I just saw your new cover photo.  
✔ Seen 3:43pm  
 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Super cool.  
✔ Seen 3:44pm  
 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Slytherin, bad guys house! 8D  
✔ Seen 3:45pm  
 **Gellert Grindelwald:** You and I are made to get along. ;)  
✔ Seen 3:46pm  
 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Tina?  
✔ Seen 3:47pm  
 **Gellert Grindelwald:** I know you read my messages!  
✔ Seen 3:48pm  
 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Answer come one…  
✔ Seen 3:49pm  
 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Alright you're probably busy.  
✔ Seen 3:50pm  
 **Gellert Grindelwald:** We can talk later. :)  
✔ Seen 3:51pm  
 **Gellert Grindelwald:** But you're sure you don't want to accept my friend request? :(  
✔ Seen 3:52pm

* * *

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander** likes _"Nicolas Hulot"_ and _"Brigitte Bardot"_.

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Who are these people?

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** French Muggles activistes for the defense of the animals rights.

 **Jacob Kowalski:** Obviously.

* * *

 **Gellert Grindelwald** wrote on **Percival Graves** wall **:** *heart* **  
**

 **Percival Graves:** What… ?

 **Seraphina Picquery:** Mr. Graves, you need to fix this hacking issue as quick as possible.

 **Percival Graves:** Yes Madam.

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** I'm so glad you and I are friends! 8D  
 _ **Albus Dumbledore**_ _likes this._

 **Percival Graves:** We're not friends!

 **Gellert Grindelwald :** According to Facebook, we are.

 **Percival Graves:** -_-

* * *

 **Jacob Kowalski** and **Queenie Goldstein** are now **in a relationship**.  
 _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ _,_ _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _and_ _ **Credence Barebone**_ _like this._

 **Queenie Goldstein:** *heart* *heart* *heart* **  
** _ **Jacob Kowalski** _ _likes this._

 **Seraphina Picquery:** Miss Goldstein, your sister goes too far.

 **Tina Goldstein:** Sorry Madam President.

 **Seraphina Picquery:** One more remark and we will need to take charge of the situation.

 **Queenie Goldstein:** What are you going to do? Cut my internet connection?

* * *

 **Percival Graves** likes _"Gellert Grindelwald, greatest dark wizard of all times".  
 **Gellert Grindelwald**_ _likes this._

 **Gellert Grindelwald :** *heart*

 **Seraphina Picquery:** …

 **Percival Graves:** I'm still investigating Madam President.

* * *

 **Jacob Kowalski** likes _"_ _Hell's Kitchen_ _"._

* * *

 **Queenie Goldstein** likes _"Top Chef"_.

* * *

 **Jacob Kowalski** likes _"MasterChef"_.

* * *

 **Queenie Goldstein** likes _"_ _Come Dine With Me_ _"._

 **Tina Goldstein:** You two had a contest or what?  
 _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _likes this_ _ **.**_

* * *

 **Credence Barebone** is listening to **Evanescence** _"Bring me to life"._

 **Tina Goldstein:** Come have a coffee tonight. :)  
 _ **Credence Barebone**_ _likes this._

* * *

 **Credence Barebone** and **Tina Goldstein** like _"Doctor Who".  
 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _and 29 485 Whovians like this._

 **Queenie Goldstein:**?

 **Jacob Kowalski:** ?

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** More British culture can't hurt. :D

 **Credence Barebone:** We binge-watched the entire 9 seasons in one go! :D

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** O.O

 **Jacob Kowalski:** Did I miss something?

 **Tina Goldstein:** A funny use for my Time-turner. :D

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Tina, you broke the law to watch a series. :o

 **Tina Goldstein:** The Doctor is quite a fascinating character. :)

 **Credence Barebone:** I love the Ninth Doctor! He's got the funny ears and his dressing style is a killer! *.*

 **Credence Barebone:** Who's your favorite Doctor Newt?

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Hard to say. I mainly watched because of the creatures…  
 _ **Credence Barebone**_ _likes this._

 **Tina Goldstein:** Not a surprise. :)

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** What about you Tina?

 **Tina Goldstein:** Oh, the Eleventh Doctor for sure. He was adorable.

 **Credence Barebone:** Tina fell in love with him! :p

 **Tina Goldstein:** Credence…

 **Credence Barebone:** I wonder why… :D

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Why?

 **Tina Goldstein:** There's no why!

 **Credence Barebone:** Wild hair, silly looking, boots, inability to maintain eye contact, baby face, loves all the creatures of the universe, matchstick man, slightly hunched, can't help himself but help everything he could put his hands on (ok, helping the others is one main feature of every incarnation of the Doctor whatsoever, but my earlier points remain the same)… Sounds familiar?

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** …

 **Tina Goldstein:** …

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Do you really think I look like a matchstick, Credence?

 **Credence Barebone:** T.T **  
**

 **Theseus Scamander:** Overwhelming evidence of my brother's ability to miss the point.  
 _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ _and_ _ **Jacob Kowalski**_ _like this._

 **Theseus Scamander:** Incidentally, nothing beats the Third Doctor. :)  
 _ **Jon Pertwee**_ _likes this._

* * *

 **Queenie Goldstein** posted a photo in **Meetings in New York *heart*  
** _ **Jacob Kowalski**_ _and_ _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _like this._

 **Jacob Kowalski:** How adorable.

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Lovely snapshot Queenie.

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Once Tina's awake, she'll want me to delete this picture, I'm sure of that.

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** There's nothing to be ashamed of, I've hardly seen..anything more gorgeous these days.

 **Queenie Goldstein:** I know right? And the picture is pretty good isn't?

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander :** I was talking about the picture actually.

 **Queenie Goldstein:** You do? I thought you were talking about my sister. :D

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** …

 **Jacob Kowalski:** First time I see Credence this peaceful. Nothing like mummy's arms. ^^  
 _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _likes this._

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Tina would be a good mother wouldn't she, Newt ?  
 _ **Theseus Scamander**_ _likes this._

 **Jacob Kowalski:** Easy, don't rush anything, they need to date before even thinking about making babies.  
 _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ _likes this._

* * *

 **Gellert Grindelwald** and **Percival Graves** are now **in a relationship**.  
 _ **Gellert Grindelwald**_ _likes this._

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** *heart* *heart* *heart* **  
**

 **Seraphina Picquery:** And here comes the drama…

 **Percival Graves:** Madam President, I assure you I have nothing to do with that!

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Finally! No need to hide our love anymore! :D

 **Albus Dumbledore:** Gelly! Why? :(

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Because of reasons.

 **Albus Dumbledore:** :'(

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** I moved on, accept it.

 **Albus Dumbledore:** Percival, do you really love him?

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Of course!

 **Percival Graves :** No!

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Don't be shy. ;)

 **Albus Dumbledore:** I won't forget you Gelly. :(

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** You should. And forget the nickname as well!

* * *

 **Albus Dumbledore** is listening to **Simon & Garfunkel "** _The sound of silence"_ **.**

* * *

 _Don't forget the feedback, I really wants to know what make you smile, laugh and also what displease you._  
 _I hope you all had a good Christmas._  
 _See you next year and happy New Year's Eve. :)_


	4. Chapter 4

_The more it goes, the more fluffiest it becomes. I hope it's still funny and not just cute. :/_  
 _Will you find the references to Colin Farrell and Ezra Miller filmographies and the allusion to BBC Sherlock as well? ^^_  
 _Thanks to my beta reader **SleepingReader** !_

* * *

 **Queenie Goldstein** updated her status "Bye bye New York, London here we are! :D" with **Jacob Kowalski.  
** _ **Jacob Kowalski**_ _likes this._

 **Tina Goldstein:** I'll miss you, little sister. :(  
 _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ _likes this._

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Me too Teenie. *heart*

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** I hope you'll get to visit them soon Tina…

 **Tina Goldstein:** I hope so…  
 _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _likes this._

 **Theseus Scamander:** You aren't coming with them?! :o

 **Tina Goldstein:** Can't, too much work. :/

 **Theseus Scamander:** :(

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Who could have imagined that the Goldstein sisters separation would make you feel emotional.

 **Theseus Scamander:** No, I'm sad for you bro. :( This could have been an opportunity for you to see her again.  
 _ **Jacob Kowalski**_ _and_ _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ _like this._

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Mind your own business will you?!  
 _ **Tina Goldstein**_ _likes this._

* * *

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander** is watching _"BBC Planet Earth"._

 **Theseus Scamander:** So the growls coming from your bedroom result from this wildlife program and not from a porn site. Good to know.

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** …

* * *

 **Albus Dumbledore** is listening to **Jacques Brel** _"Ne me quitte pas(*)"_ **.**

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** I've ALREADY left you Dumby…

 **Albus Dumbledore:** :'(

 **Minerva McGonagall:** Albus, pull yourself together please, this peacock needs to learn some manners!  
 _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _and_ _ **Pomona Sprout**_ _like this._

 **Albus Dumbledore:** A man without love is an empty shell. :(  
 _ **Severus Snape**_ _likes this._

 _(*)Don't leave me_

* * *

 **Gellert Grindelwald** and **Percival Graves** are now **married**. _  
_ _ **Gellert Grindelwald**_ _likes this._

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** *heart* *heart* *heart*

 **Percival Graves:** I'm tired…

* * *

 **Tina Goldstein** likes _"Newt Scamander is an angel from heaven, too precious, too pure for this world and who needs to be protected at all cost".  
_ _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ _and_ _ **Newtina Shippers Community**_ _like this._

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** ?

 **Credence Barebone:** Your fangirls created this page. ^^  
 _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ _likes this._

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Fan-what ?

 **Seraphina Picquery:** An angel who breaks the laws and wanders around with a case full of monsters…

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** They're creatures, not monsters, thank you! And may I kindly reminds you that one of them saved your city.  
 _ **Tina Goldstein, Queenie Goldstein, Percival Graves, Jacob Kowalski**_ _and_ _ **Credence Barebone**_ _like this._

 **Jacob Kowalski:** So, Newt has fans ?

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Apparently… :)

 **Credence Barebone:** You shouldn't be surprised y'all. :D

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** This is ridiculous!

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Newt, just take the compliment. :p

 **Theseus Scamander:** Am I the only one who noticed Tina liked a page dedicated to my so-called pure angelic brother?  
 _ **Credence Barebone**_ _likes this._

* * *

 **Credence Barebone** posted a photo in **Meetings in New York *heart*.**  
 _ **Tina Goldstein, Newton Artemis Fido Scamander, Queenie Goldstein, Percival Graves, Jacob Kowalski**_ _and_ _ **Theseus Scamander**_ _like this._

 **Credence Barebone:** My new room!

 **Jacob Kowalski:** As I see it, you're properly settled. ^^

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Teenie, I'm getting jealous: you found a substitute very quickly! :p

 **Tina Goldstein:** Don't worry, Credence doesn't cook as well as you do. :p  
 _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ _likes this._

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** There is nothing like a warm new home. I'm happy for you both. :)

 **Theseus Scamander:** My brother is the only one who can be happy when the man who moves in with the woman he loves is not him…

 **Tina Goldstein:** Theseus, you're unbearably insistent. T.T  
 _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _likes this._

* * *

 **Percival Graves** likes _"The Dark Magic"_.  
 _ **Gellert Grindelwald**_ _likes this._

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Wonderful! 8D

 **Percival Graves:** …

 **Seraphina Picquery:** More and more unsubtle.

* * *

 **Percival Graves** and **Credence Barebone** like _"MACUSA is a haven for morons and I despise them."  
_ _ **Gellert Grindelwald**_ _likes this._

 **Seraphina Picquery:** Mr. Graves…

 **Percival Graves:** The investigation has stalled, Madame President.

 **Tina Goldstein:** Credence?

 **Credence Barebone:** Sorry Tina, I'm still mad at them about the Obscurus thing.

 **Tina Goldstein:** We'll watch The Big Bang Theory tonight to change your mind ok? :)  
 _ **Credence Barebone**_ _likes this._

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Can I come? :D

 **Tina Goldstein:** Percival, you're more than welcome.  
 _ **Percival Graves**_ _and_ _ **Credence Barebone**_ _like this._

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** :(

* * *

 **Percival Graves** likes _"Make the torture of Muggles an international sport."  
_ _ **Gellert Grindelwald**_ _likes this._

 **Seraphina Picquery:** Mr. Graves!

* * *

 **Percival Graves** updated his status _"I refuse to bow down any longer."  
_ _ **Gellert Grindelwald**_ _likes this._

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Oh, come here sweetheart!

 **Seraphina Picquery:** I see, it goes with affectionate names now?

 **Percival Graves :** I guarantee I don't fraternize with the enemy, Madam President.

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** No, it's far worse… :p

 **Percival Graves:** I'll make you suffer!

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Can't wait. ;)

 **Percival Graves:** …

* * *

 **Percival Graves** shared a photo.  
 _ **Gellert Grindelwald**_ _likes this._

 **Tina Goldstein:** OMG.

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Nice underwear, Madam President! :D

 **Percival Graves:** WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?

 **Seraphina Picquery:** Mr. Graves, tomorrow morning, in my office.

* * *

 **Percival Graves** is traveling to **Bruges.** _  
_ _ **Gellert Grindelwald**_ _likes this._

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Bruges! Such a romantic place! *heart*

 **Tina Goldstein:** ?

 **Percival Graves:** PM.

* * *

Private messages

 _ **Percival Graves**_ _added_ _ **Tina Goldstein**_  
 **Seraphina Picquery:** Miss Goldstein, this discussion will remain private, understood?  
 **Tina Goldstein:** Yes, Madam President.  
 **Seraphina Picquery:** Mr. Graves had been temporarily removed from his post.  
 **Percival Graves:** Against his will.  
 **Seraphina Picquery:** …  
 **Percival Graves:** Please, go on.  
 **Seraphina Picquery:** The situation went too far and the hacker is still missing. Mr. Graves presence at MACUSA put everybody in danger so he has to keep his distance.  
 **Percival Graves:** And for this reason, they sent me to the arse end of nowhere.  
 **Seraphina Picquery:** Mr. Graves!  
 **Percival Graves:** Sorry Madam President.  
 **Tina Goldstein:** Who will pursue their investigations while he's away?  
 **Seraphina Picquery:** You, Miss Goldstein.  
 **Percival Graves:** Tina, my career is in your hands.  
 **Tina Goldstein:** I will set to work straightaway.  
 _ **Tina Goldstein**_ _left the group_  
 **Percival Graves:** Bruges… What a bright idea really…  
 **Seraphina Picquery:** It is a very beautiful townPercival. :)  
 **Percival Graves:** With you by my side, I wouldn't doubt that. :)  
 **Seraphina Picquery:** You evil flatterer! :D

* * *

 **Marie-Lou Barebone** has joined Facebook.

* * *

Private messages

 **Credence Barebone:** Oh shit, Tina!  
 **Tina Goldstein:** What is it?  
 **Credence Barebone:** Marie-Lou newly created an account and she just sent me a friend request!  
 **Tina Goldstein:** Are you kidding me?!  
 **Credence Barebone:** No. T.T  
 **Tina Goldstein:** Ok, refuse it, block her and change your name. She mustn't find you again. I have an idea for what comes next. ^^  
 **Credence Barebone:** Ok! :D  
 **Tina Goldstein:** You know how to call yourself?  
 **Credence Barebone:** Maybe. ;)

* * *

 **Credence Barebone** changed his name to **Barry Allen.**

* * *

Private messages

 **Barry Allen:** Here is a little message to warn you. Don't be surprised, it's Credence! ^^  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** Nice name, where did you get it?  
 **Jacob Kowalski:** Haha Flash!  
 **Barry Allen:** I love comic books. :3  
 **Jacob Kowalski:** Me too but I prefer John Stewart/Green Lantern myself. :)  
 **Theseus Scamander:** Batman beats them all. :p  
 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Nonsense Theseus, we all know Wonder Woman is the best.  
 **Tina Goldstein:** I totally agree. Diana slays them all.  
 **Theseus Scamander:** OMG they like the same hero! :D  
 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** …  
 **Tina Goldstein:** …  
 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** By the way, why did you change your name, Credence?  
 **Barry Allen:** To escape Marie-Lou.  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** This awful woman is still bothering you?!  
 **Barry Allen:** Tina and I are looking for a way to keep her away from me. :p  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** Oooooh! :o What is it? :D  
 **Tina Goldstein:** Surprise. ^^  
 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Thank goodness **,** Tina's got this. :)  
 **Theseus Scamander:** If you ask me, Tina and Credence should come live here in London with us; problem solved. :)  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** That would be a solution indeed. :)  
 **Jacob Kowalski:** Especially 'cause London is a great city!  
 **Theseus Scamander:** Plus, Newt lives here. :)  
 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** …  
 **Tina Goldstein:** …  
 **Barry Allen:** Always a big fan of these conversations, full of cleverly placed and subtle innuendos. :D

* * *

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander** likes _"WWF", "Sea Shepherd"_ and _"GreenPeace"_.  
 _ **Jacob Kowalski**_ _likes this._

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Muggles again?

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Muggle organisations, yes.

* * *

 **Tina Goldstein** updated her status "FUCK".

* * *

Private messages

 **Queenie Goldstein:** What happened? :/  
 **Tina Goldstein:** Crappy day at work.  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** Tell me.  
 **Tina Goldstein:** Who would have thought that replacing Mr. Graves would give me such displeasure…  
 **Tina Goldstein:** Abernathy's been a total jerk.  
 **Tina Goldstein:** I think he misses you. ^^  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** *throws up*  
 **Queenie Goldstein:** That awful pervert…

* * *

 **Percival Graves** and **Alastor Moody** are now friends.  
 _ **Seraphina Picquery**_ _,_ _ **Albus Dumbledore, Theseus Scamander**_ _and_ _ **Tina Goldstein**_ _like this._

 **Tina Goldstein:** THE Alastor Moody? *o*

 **Percival Graves:** The one and only.

 **Tina Goldstein:** Lucky you! That guy's a legend!  
 _ **Percival Graves**_ _likes this._

 **Theseus Scamander:** Another reason why you should come live in London, Tina. You might meet your idol frequently. :D  
 _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ _likes this._

 **Percival Graves:** Nice try, but right now, he's in Bruges with me.

 **Tina Goldstein:** What for?

 **Percival Graves:** Tourism.

 **Theseus Scamander:** O.o

 **Tina Goldstein:** O.o

 **Alastor Moody:** Unburden your fucking heart somewhere else! Fed up with the notifications…

 **Tina Goldstein:** OMG he talked to me. *o*

 **Queenie Goldstein:** There is a fangirl deep inside you Teenie, I always knew. :)

 **Theseus Scamander:** **Newt** , Alastor had stolen Tina's heart. :/

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Theseus, you're getting on my nerves…

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Don't worry Newt, she hasn't forgotten you. :)  
 _ **Barry Allen**_ _likes this._

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** I don't!  
 _ **Barry Allen**_ _and_ _ **Queenie Goldstein**_ _like this._

 **Barry Allen:** You're right. ;)

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Oh god, what am I reading? :o

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Percy, you're friends with this lunatic? :o

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** I can't believe you're already cheating on me! :(

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** One week away from one another and here it is! :(

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Percy sweetheart, how could you do this to me? :'(

 **Percival Graves:** We're not together!

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Facebook tells me otherwise.

 **Percival Graves:** Facebook isn't real life!

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** I offered you my friendship. I opened my heart. I gave you all my love. And you reject me like that. :(

 **Alastor Moody:** SHUT UP!

* * *

 **Percival Graves** is **single**.  
 _ **Albus Dumbledore**_ _likes this._

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** …  
 _ **Albus Dumbledore**_ _likes this._

 **Minerva McGonagall:** Congratulations, you actually silenced this impertinent man!  
 _ **Albus Dumbledore**_ _likes this._

 **Theseus Scamander:** So ended a tumultuous love story, full of passions and things left unsaid…  
 _ **Albus Dumbledore**_ _likes this._

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** You dumped me on Facebook. How cruel. :(  
 _ **Albus Dumbledore**_ _likes this._

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Albus, quit liking every post!  
 _ **Albus Dumbledore**_ _likes this._

* * *

 _ **Albus Dumbledore**_ is listening to **Bee Gees** " _Stayin' Alive"._ **  
** _ **James Moriarty**_ _likes this._

 **Minerva McGonagall:** Dear, you have to learn to temper your enthusiasm.  
 _ **Pomona Sprout**_ _likes this._

* * *

 **Queenie Goldstein** posted 3 photos in **Meetings in New York *heart*.**  
 _ **Tina Goldstein, Jacob Kowalski, Barry Allen**_ _and_ _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _like this._

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Home sweet home! :D

 **Tina Goldstein:** Very pretty!

 **Jacob Kowalski:** Newt and Theseus helped us a lot! :D

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** My pleasure. :)

* * *

 **Alastor Moody** wrote on **Percival Graves** 's wall: WORST TOURIST IN THE WHOLE WORLD!  
 _ **Seraphina Picquery**_ _likes this._

 **Theseus Scamander:** The stay isn't going well? XD

 **Percival Graves:** All the fuss because of mouldy ruins…

 **Tina Goldstein:** ?

 **Percival Graves:** Alastor likes to visit Medieval monuments. But he has a hard time to understand it's not to everyone's liking.

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Trouble in paradise? :)

 **Percival Graves:** YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!  
 _ **Seraphina Picquery, Theseus Scamander, Tina Goldstein, Queenie Goldstein**_ _and_ _ **Barry Allen**_ _like this._

 **Alastor Moody:** Boorish boy here only thinks about going to the pub, drink beers. What a shame!

 **Percival Graves:** Beers and chocolates: the only things worthy of going to Bruges.

 **Alastor Moody:** It's a fucking fairytale town!  
 _ **Ralph Fiennes**_ _likes this._

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** Despite everything you inflicted on me, I'm ready to take you back. I accept you as you are, you know?

 **Percival Graves:** He never stops…

* * *

 **Tina Goldstein** read an article on **WitchWeekly** : _"The magic of adoption!"  
_ _ **Barry Allen**_ _likes this._

 **Queenie Goldstein:** Teenie!

 **Jacob Kowalski:** Announcement on its way? :o

 **Theseus Scamander:** NEWT! ALL THIS TIME AND YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!

 **Tina Goldstein:** I don't want to react anymore…  
 _ **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander**_ _and_ _ **Barry Allen**_ _like this._

* * *

 **Tina Goldstein** and **Percival Graves** are now **in a relationship.**

 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Tina?!

 **Barry Allen:** O.o

 **Queenie Goldstein:** What?! :o

 **Jacob Kowalski:** I don't get it…

 **Theseus Scamander:** Ok, I didn't expect that…

 **Gellert Grindelwald:** *broken heart*

* * *

Private messages

 **Tina Goldstein:** Someone hacked my account!  
 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** Really?  
 **Tina Goldstein:** I'd never be in a relationship with Mr. Graves and you know it!  
 **Newton Artemis Fido Scamander:** I don't know what I believe anymore, Tina…  
 **Tina Goldstein:** Bullshit! It's you, Newt, I love you and nobody else.  
✔ Seen 1:36pm  
 **Tina Goldstein:** Newt?

* * *

 **Theseus Scamander** posted in **Meetings in New York** ***heart*.**

 **Theseus Scamander:** He's been sent to hospital since he made a loud crash as he fell down the stairs. He's staying at St Mungo for a few days. No one knows what happened, but apparently, his heart had a really big shock. Everything's alright now, he'll recover. However, he lost his mobile phone, it's been crashed in the fall.  
 _ **Tina Goldstein, Jacob Kowalski, Queenie Goldstein**_ _and_ _ **Barry Allen**_ _like this._

* * *

 **Tina Goldstein** is reading _"Android or Apple? Which smartphone is made for you?".  
_ _ **Theseus Scamander**_ _likes this._

* * *

 _Don't forget, one review = one big hug from Newt (and one happy author as well :D)._


	5. Chapter 5

_Hello everyone! First of all, thank you, thank you very much for all the reviews, they warmed my heart you can't imagine! This chapter is special. Someone asked me if it was possible to read more about the relationship between Newt and his creatures. It reminds me I totally forgot them since chapter 1 - and they hardly made an appareance. So I wrote a chapter about them._  
 _In the end of chapter 4, Newt was in St Mungo's. But what happenend in the magical case? ^^_  
 _Thank you so much to my dear beta reader, SleepingReader! :D  
_

* * *

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle** likes _"Small, smart and essential"_.  
 _ **R2D2**_ _,_ _ **Snowy**_ _,_ _ **Tinker Bell**_ _,_ _ **Jiminy Cricket**_ _and_ _ **Mushu**_ _like this._

 **The Niffler:** Small yes. Smart, I'm not sure. Essential, certainly not.

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** Please keep quiet if you can't be nice.

* * *

 **Frank** likes _"Matching the weather with my mood"_.  
 _ **Storm**_ _,_ _ **Thor**_ _and_ _ **Zeus**_ _like this._

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** Such a diva…

* * *

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle** updated his status _"1 hour absent."_

 **The Niffler:** The countdown is on…

* * *

 **Frank** likes _"Chocolate Éclairs(*)"_.

 **The Niffler:** Frank, you're hilarious.

 **Frank:** One can't appreciate pastries now?

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** Leave it, he doesn't understand second degree humour.

 **Frank:** I'm not a thermometer obviously.

 **The Niffler:** ?

 **Frank:** I can't measure the temperature of a joke. However, I can detect a bad atmosphere quickly.

 **The Niffler:** Did you just do a play on words?

 **Frank:** Not at all, I was talking about storms with thunder and lightning.

 **The Niffler:** I had hope. :(

 _(*)éclair = flash of lightning_

* * *

 **The Niffler** likes _"Strike Gold"._  
 _ **SmaugIAmDeath**_ _and_ _ **Scrooge McDuck**_ _like this._

* * *

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle** updated his status _"2 hours absent."_

 **The Niffler:** Seriously, do we really have to endure this?

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** Let me handle my pain the way I want.

 **The Niffler:** What pain? He only left 2 hours ago!

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** 2 hours and 15 minutes now.

 **The Niffler:** Help…

* * *

 **Dougal** likes _"The Nanny"_.

* * *

 **Frank** likes _"Being fabulous"_.

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** Show off!

 **Frank:** Realistic.

* * *

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle** updated his status _"3 hours absent."_

 **Dougal:** Pickett, you know full well every time he does a Skype session with Tina, it lasts no less than 6 hours.

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** 6 HOURS OF SUFFERING!

 **Frank:** Would you please stop counting?

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** NO!

 **Dougal:** Pickett, be reasonable.

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** NO!

 **Dougal:** And you'll be allowed to sleep in my nest tonight.

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** Ok.  
 _ **Dougal**_ _,_ _ **Frank**_ _and_ _ **The Niffler**_ _like this._

* * *

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle** updated his status _"1 day absent."_

 **The Niffler:** I thought you stopped counting?!

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** I stopped counting hours. I didn't say anything about days.

* * *

 **The Niffler** is listening to **Gioachino Rossini** _"La gazza ladra"_.

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** We're in a middle of a crisis and you take breaks, mister!

 **The Niffler:** 1/ This is not a crisis, Newt has been away for only 2 days. 2/ This opera in two acts is a pure masterpiece.

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** You know it by heart! You listen to it constantly!

 **The Niffler:** Does it change anything?

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** T.T

* * *

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle** updated his status _"2 days absent."_

 **Dougal:** It not a big deal, Pickett, he has been gone for two full days before.

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** Something's wrong, I feel it.

* * *

 **Dougal** wrote on **Pickett the Bowtruckle** 's wall: Quit making such a fuss, you're scaring the Occamies!

 **The Niffler:** Quit making such a fuss, you're annoying me.

 **Frank:** You're suffocating everyone with your anxiety, Pickett.

* * *

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle** updated his status _"3 days absent."_

 **Frank:** I'm sure he's ok.

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** I feel uprooted, it's awful. :(

* * *

 **Frank** posted a video on **Pickett the Bowtruckle** 's wall: Listen. :)

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** If this is a joke, it's not funny!

 **The Niffler:** You know Frank doesn't make jokes.

 **Frank:** When I feel rainy, I put one this song and it enlightens my day!

 **The Niffler:** Let me get this straight, the days when you don't storm, it's because you had listened to "Ho Happy Day"?

 **Frank:** Indeed.

 **The Niffler:** I don't know what to do with this information…

* * *

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle** updated his status _"4 days absent. SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!"_

 **Dougal:** Ok, 4 days is a bit long but it's not a reason to panic. I'm sure there's a good reason for him to be away for so long.

 **Frank:** Dougal, I don't want to play the killjoy but as you know, I have a radar and it allows me to feel danger.

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** I WAS RIGHT SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENED AND EVEN FRANK CAN FEEL IT!

 **Dougal:** Frank, you're not helping.

 **Frank:** I don't like lying.

* * *

 **The Niffler** is watching _"Who Wants to Be a Millionaire"_.

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** How dare you be so casual? THE END IS HERE!

 **The Niffler:** One more word and I'll block you.

* * *

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle** updated his status _"WHERE IS MY TREE?!"_

 **The Niffler:** You gave up the countdown after all.

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** The countdown doesn't matter any more because I LOST MY TREE AND WE ALL GONNA DIE AND THAT'S HORRIBLE!

 **The Niffler:** Five days absent. If he's not coming back soon, I'll commit a criminal offence.

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** You wouldn't dare…

 **The Niffler:** Rob Gringotts? Hell yeah.

* * *

 **Dougal** created an event **In search of Newton**.  
 _ **Pickett the Bowtruckle**_ _likes this._

 **Dougal** , **Pickett the Bowtruckle** and **Frank** are going to the event.

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** WHERE IS THE NIFFLER?

 **Frank:** Watching Aladdin, I presume. He always loves the cave scene.

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** **Niffler** , IF YOU DON'T BRING YOUR ASS, I PROMISE I'LL REDUCE YOUR ENTIRE ARSÈNE LUPIN COLLECTION TO CONFETTI!

* * *

 **The Niffler** is going to the event **In search of Newton.  
** _ **Pickett the Bowtruckle**_ _likes this._

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** :D

* * *

 **Dougal** posted in **In search of Newton.**

 **Dougal:** We have to sort out a plan. Ideas anyone?

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** I PICK THE LOCK ON THE CASE WE ESCAPE WE INVADE THE COUNTRY WE SEARCH EVERYWHERE AND WE FIND MY TREE!

 **Dougal:** Pickett, I love your enthusiasm but you're going a little too far.

 **Frank:** We'd better contact Tina. I'm sure she'll have information for us.

 **The Niffler:** And you stop the caps lock, Pickett, for my eyes sake!  
 _ **Dougal**_ _and_ _ **Frank**_ _likes this._

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** I'LL CONTACT TINA!

 **The Niffler:** …

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** I'll contact Tina.

 **Dougal:** I'm not sure if this is a good idea…

 **Frank:** I think Dougal should do it.  
 _ **The Niffler**_ _likes this._

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** :(

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** Unfair.

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** But ok.  
 _ **The Niffler, Frank**_ _and_ _ **Dougal**_ _like this._

* * *

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle** posted in **In search of Newton.**

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** SOOOOOOOOO?

 **Dougal:** So what?

 **The Niffler:** CAPS LOCK!

 **Frank:** Niffler, you are losing your composure.

 **The Niffler:** I know. :(

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** WHO CARES ABOUT THIS CAPS LOCK THING! DOUGAL, DO YOU HAVE NEWS FROM TINA?!

 **The Niffler:** I propose we ignore him until he learns to communicate properly.

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** :(

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** Have mercy on me. :(

 **Dougal:** Pickett, it's only been 2h since I've sent the message to Tina, give her time to answer. And if I remember correctly, she has a busy job so she probably can't answer right away.

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** Oh my nerves won't hold…

 **The Niffler:** And what about ours?  
 _ **Frank**_ _likes this._

* * *

 **Dougal** posted in **In search of Newton.**

 **Dougal:** GOOD NEWS EVERYONE! I GOT AN ANSWER FROM TINA! :D

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?!

 **The Niffler:** Dougal, I forbid you to give him an answer.

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** SO?

 **Frank:** Almost, Pickett.

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** So?  
 _ **The Niffler, Frank**_ _and_ _ **Dougal**_ _like this._

 **Dougal:** Newton is ok. He's in St Mungo's, the wizarding hospital. He's been taken care of very quickly so he's out of danger. :) He'll be back in a few days.

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** HOLY TREEBEARD!

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** MY TREE IS ALIVE!

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** MY GOD I'LL HAVE WORK TO DO WHEN HE'LL BE BACK, I'M SURE HE'S A MESS!

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** IT'S ALL TINA'S FAULT!

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** THIS WICKED WITCH TRIED TO STEAL MY TREE I CAN FEEL IT DEEP DOWN IN MY ROOTS!

 **Frank:** No need to be mean towards Tina, Pickett. She's done nothing wrong. It's not her fault Newt fell in love with her.

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** …

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** …

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** …

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** WHAAAAAT?!

 **The Niffler:** Ouch, I wouldn't have released the news like this…

* * *

 **Dougal** and **Tina Goldstein** are now friends.

* * *

 **Frank** and **Tina Goldstein** are now friends.

* * *

 **The Niffler** and **Tina Goldstein** are now friends.

* * *

 **Dougal** posted in **In search of Newton.**

 **Dougal:** Pickett, you're so rude.

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** Me?!

 **Dougal:** Refusing Tina's friend request, tssk.

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** I refused nothing!

 **The Niffler:** You're so jealous! :p

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** I'm not!

 **The Niffler:** Then why aren't you friends yet?

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** Because.

 **Frank:** Newt will be sad that you two don't get along. She's important to him.

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** How do you know that?

 **Frank:** Because I know a lot about when love strikes! :)

 **The Niffler:** You did a play on words this time, isn't Frank? :D

 **Frank:** ;)  
 _ **The Niffler**_ _likes this._

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** She hasn't sent me a friend request.

 **Dougal:** You do it then. ^^

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** I can't.

 **The Niffler:** Since when is it that Pickett, the fearless mischievous bowtruckle can't do something as simple as to send a friend request? ^^

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** She won't accept me.

 **The Niffler:** Oh…

 **The Niffler:** Ok, I think I get it.

 **The Niffler:** You harassed her, admit it!

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** No.

 **Frank:** Don't lie, it's nasty.  
 _ **Dougal**_ _likes this._

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** All right, I may have sent her some messages.

 **Dougal:** How many?

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** Quite a few.

 **The Niffler:** But why did you do this? We agreed, it was Dougal's mission to contact her!

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** She never stops ignoring me!

 **Frank:** Probably because she didn't like being insulted?

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** I didn't insult her!

 **The Niffler:** Is this lie true?

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** Yes! Er, no! Stop messing with my head, Niffler!

 **The Niffler:** :D

 **Dougal:** What did you say to her?

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** Yes, maybe I've been a bit hostile.

 **Dougal:** Pickett?

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** I told her she better give me news about my tree very quickly if she didn't want me to gouge out her eyes.

 **Dougal:** …

 **The Niffler:** …

 **Frank:** Her beautiful eyes. :(

* * *

Private messages.

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle:** Hello Tina. You probably don't want to hear from me anymore after all the horrible things I said to you. I shouldn't have teased your physical integrity neither insulted you to be an old rotten root. I am deeply sorry for forbidding you to come close to my tree. I have recently learned about your closeness and I'll need some time to adapt. I am his guardian, I can't let him wander about without monitoring for long. But, to please him, I agree to make reasonable efforts to try to get to know you. Maybe I will consider being friends with you. Regards. Pickett the Bowtruckle.  
 **Tina Goldstein:** Dear Pickett, thank your for your kind message. I understand your fears, I had the same. Being a big sister brought me the same concerns, I am the guardian of Queenie, I have to ensure her well-being, make sure she's healthy and happy. Nevertheless, I always feared the day when she wouldn't need me anymore, when I'll be useless and when she would live some place else, with someone else. But it appear that my fears weregroundless. While Queenie lives with her lover now, I'm still her sister, her big sister, her guardian. I don't seek to replace you in Newt's heart, don't think about it for one second. I truly know that you and he share a precious and unique relationship. I hope with all my heart we'll be able to be friends. :) Have a good evening and take care of yourself. Tina.  
 **Tina Goldstein:** PS: It is my turn to apologize for ignoring you. Also I'll make two promises to you. 1/ To keep a close look on your tree while he stays at the hospital (I planned a little trip to England) and 2/ To bring woodlice the next time we meet. I wish to reconcile with you. :)

* * *

 **Pickett the Bowtruckle** and **Tina Goldstein** are now friends.

* * *

 _Yes I knooooooow, there is fluff at the end! XD I can't help it! XD  
Before you leave, don't forget: save an author, write a review! :D  
_


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